Tuesday, 15 September 2009

Shitter 03

What’s wrong with music today? Do you really have to fit everything in a genre. Like Indie. Fookin’ Indie. Is it really about the music? Or is it what the people are wearing. Such pretensions. It’s really quite shitty that you listen to a particular kind of music but you need a corresponding footwear or a brand name for it. Fred “Fucking” Perry. I dare you. Wear a Hanes t-shirt and some Vans in a so-called indie gig. You’d see eyes looking at you saying “This ain’t an EMO gig”. Even a goatee is out of place.

Have you noticed lately? Rockstars are squeaky clean and corporate sponsored. I haven’t seen ‘em clad in rat thinned jeans and old shirts or even in battered chucks. It’s all about sponsorships nowadays. Here’s a middle finger from dear Jello!!

Record labels. What does it take to have a record label? I could only see one or two good ones. Indie record labels are quite a story. Lot’s of hard work marketing and circulating the acts but In P.I. (Philippine Islands) it’s a status symbol. I have a record label and I have bands. I’m fookin’ Tony Wilson.

Covering Indie bands. Only in P.I. They’re Indie so they don’t care about the mainstream. Here Indie bands cover indie bands. Covers. So much covers. We’re all fucking monkeys.

Guitar Hero killed Rock and Roll. I’ll take a real guitar anytime. What’s the matter you wimps? Can’t handle the blisters in your fingers? A guitar controller is not an instrument. If you started playing the guitar months ago you could’ve been good by now. I fear the future.

Human Subjects – Hermann Goebells (Steven Hiller Mix)A 25- minute remix of a noise track recorded and preserved in 1935 in Krakow, Poland. The weird noises were taken during the construction of the now infamous Krakow Concentration Camp during its testing and dry run. It’s was known that dogs and rats were the test subjects. The Steven Hiller Remix was recorded live during a gig at Krakow, Poland. They weren’t allowed to have a gig at the actual site due to political reasons.

Musicians make music because they want to. Not to satisfy the masses. Musicians that satisfy the masses are an abomination. Why satisfy someone who doesn’t even know what they’re talking about. Pop has shot itself in the head. Pop musicians in the past won’t make it today because they don’t fit today’s standards. Is it because they’re not talented enough for today’s standards? A big middle finger. NO. The answer is they’re too fucking ugly! Stevie Wonder (does anybody know that a lot of assholes are covering his song?) won’t make it because he’s BLIND. So do Ray Charles. All the handicapped greats. They won’t make it today. You got to have an image. Talent is optional. And we thought Diana Ross was difficult. At least MISS ROSS has the big “T”. Big Aretha won’t make too because she’s too big. Eric “god” Clapton won’t make it because he could play the guitar and not the guitar game pad. I’ll name the who’s who of pop music and music producers would tell them to bugger off if they start auditioning again. Still don’t believe me? Two words. Bob “FUCKING Dylan. That’s three words.

Tuesday, 8 September 2009

Shitter BLOG

Saw the old STONE ROSES documentary (at the BBC). Manchester Bands. Fookin’ Manchester Bands. They tend to have such promise only to self destruct in the end. We are filled with envy all the way. We wish we could have taken a ride to the downward spiral. But then again, we’re from the Philippines and we cover Manchester bands to death. I hope they all self-destruct or maybe cover something else but damage has already been done. We’re all Manchester band wannabees. Well fook ‘em all. I’m from Salford and that makes a fookin’ big difference.

We’re all suckers for hairstyles. We’re suckers for shoes. We buy because we see some Manchester wanker wearing the same shyte.

Was I a regular at the HACIENDA or THE INTERNATIONAL? Neither. I was probably under the bridge sniffing glue with my fellow bums. I probably wasn’t making music but started when Tony “Fookin” Wilson asked everybody to loot the Hacienda. We was able to get me hands on a (I later discovered as a) 4 track tape recorder, a used acoustic guitar pick-up and some kind of guitar pedal. It has MARKER writing on it that says “HOOKY” (probably the name of the owner). I got all these gear together in me house/room or whatever you may call it and try to get them to work so that I could sell the gear. I tried to make the damn amplifier to work but I ain’t a musician so I tried to record the noise with the tape machine. The rest is not history because I kept the tape until this day and those wankers who heard it say it’s art. Those cunts. They probably read too much Oscar Wilde and watch movies with sub-titles in it or getting too many degrees just for the heck of it.

Please. Not another rock and roll movie. We had enough. Control was the last straw. Why dear Anton? Why? People should leave Joy Division alone. Why not leave Manchester music alone. The cycle would end eventually but make it sooner. I can’t endure a dude wearing a clean “The Smiths” shirt and a “Stone Roses” haircut and a Peter Saville “Adidas” shoes and tracksuit. Let the madness end please.

Another angry female singer/songwriter releases a CD. Does it work? No. Why? Fookin’hell she’s only 20 she hasn’t been through shit. She hasn’t had heroin or even alcohol. The credit goes to the “ghost” songwriter who’s probably old, been through shit and probably suicidal because a wide-eye teeny bopper is going to take credit for her song. Here’s a middle finger from NICO, darling. No? Oh, she’s drugged out and dead. Now that’s rock and roll, baby!

The endless up and down motion punctuated by a hiss of steam a scream of rubbing steel and spark of metal making contact with concrete. Music. Madness. Mayhem. Noise. Like I said, MUSIC.

Review - Hermann Goebells – “Krakow”- (Jean-Paul Newman MIX) Single
“Metal rubbing the concrete makes an intolerable noise which actually makes you cringe as an uncomfortable feeling flows through your veins. You will get goose bumps and there will be gnashing of teeth. Then followed by dizziness and vertigo as your eardrums give out all you can hear in a high pitch signaling the end of hearing. Then your ears bleed in crimson glory”. AURGASM. – Mitch Stevens – Shit Magazine

Friday, 4 September 2009

Shitter 02

Bowery Gig - June 15 1975 – not CBGB.

9:00 – Kicking back with a few beers, snorting a line or two and waiting for things to unravel. The club isn’t much. It was pretty humid on a summer night with a smell of alcohol, cigarettes or even urine inside the club. A band soon to be recognized as “The Shmucks” were finishing their set. 30 songs in 15 minutes. Fast, breakneck, rowdy and loud. The body count? Three injured. One needs to be brought to the hospital. I doubt that they reached their destination. Probably recovered halfway, made a detour and ended up buying speed. Next up was a band whose sound was just endless machine shrieks. Dear Lou must’ve heared them before he made that snappy album dear Lester really loved.

Speed heads were getting really restless. The noise was getting intolerable. No one even hears a bottle break. All they could see was a guy bleeding in the head. A riot ensued. It was insane. It was like a Marx brother silent movie. The noise was drowning everything. Fuck, we didn’t even hear the cops coming. The toll? Several we’re arrested for possession of illegal narcotics, some we’re held for assault and resisting arrest. Tunnel 02 was the band playing that night. The band was responsible for serious aural injuries. New York state hospital reported almost 100 patients with minor ear damage. All of them were coming from the same gig. “Nicey nicey. Fuck ‘em all, Let them ears bleed” Callum White – Tunnel 02 sound engineer .
We give tribute to awesome bands say like Joy Division or The Smiths. So we’re INDIE. But secretly wankers from these bands are listening to 50’s soul music, or even Motown. Or even Bowie. But the so-called indie people don’t even mention Bowie or my evil twin Ziggy Stardust. Why isn’t there a Bowie tribute? Not Indie enough?

New York 1975. It isn’t a fashion statement or a trend that doesn’t need to be revived. It’s not MTV where you recycle trends. It happened. Leave it. Joey Ramone is dead. Leave him.

LP’s sounds definitely better. Digital sucks. Can you stand music without a trace of bass? What’s wrong with your fuckin’ ears.

Only in this country where you can hear Joy Division played by a band note for note. Haunting. Even Joy division couldn’t play their songs note for note. People can’t just leave that guy Ian alone.

Control – Anton Corbijn
If I was dear Anton I wouldn’t make a film about Joy Division. Too sellable. Too many swooning girls in the theater. Too many Joy Division tribute bands.

Band comebacks
It’s like Paul McCartney’s band calling themselves “The Beatles”. Thank god for dear Yoko or else The Beatles would be singing “No More Lonely Rice”. That’s right Paul, How do you really sleep?

Enough Black Sabbath Covers already. If you have the urge of playing the songs, use a real guitar. A guitar hero controller ain’t a guitar you fuckin’ dumbass.

Beatles Rockband video game – Beatles are the easiest songs to play on the guitar. Are they kidding? Are kids too lazy to learn the guitar.

Drunk banshee – aren’t they suppose to be loud and shrieking? In another track by Liam O’ Connell and Tunnel 03 they were joined by Sara Dunnigan and lo we were treated to a haunting number with Steve Jones (not Pistols) providing the fucked up bass lines and accented by Mike Collins (astronaut’s kid on guitars). It was recorded at Gurney Studio’s Limerick Ireland. For an upcoming album we hope but for now an EP would be mostly appreciated.

Wednesday, 2 September 2009

Shitter 01

An Epic in the Making: The Implosion of a Rock Band.
(by John Carmichael, TTL
Keyboards 1989 - 1993)
Finally, after years of planning, by one man actually, we finally, reluctantly ended up in “The Loft” (not in Rochdale but somewhere) for recording. As usual we were unprepared, no practice for eons yet we were willing to splurge cash on a recording session. I for one is reluctant. I just spent heaps of cash on a mortgage and I’m not really looking forward in playing producer. The botched recording sessions in Rochdale were a reminder of what the band is capable of. Of self destruction that is. Judging by the progress we were making or the lack thereof we could finish this project in two months with minimal budget. But right now, the singer has his own Shaun Ryder like tendencies like overdubs here and there, shit like this and that. I hope he got a grant from Oxford or something because the delays are costing a lot. I just wish he’d share his hash with everyone at least we’d be smiling and stoned. The guitar player is, well, “himself” again. Actually he went into recording with nothing in mind and started being “himself”. Let’s call him the Mark E. Smith of guitar players. End of story. Another week, another delay, we started July we didn’t do anything in August it is September now and the tracks are rotting in the mixing board. I’m not sure what the plans are or when the finances are going to give out. We got a new drummer he is still in the adjustment period I think he’ll do well because he was able to withstand the endless repetition demands from our singer/quasi band leader. By the end of the year, my prediction would be, it’s still going to be unfinished. We’ll be another waste of MD discs. I’m hoping to get my hands on the unfinished tracks and work some magic. Or to put it bluntly, fuck it up that even the band would hate it. By the way, some unofficial tracks were leaked online. Ladies and gentlemen, let the name-dropping start. 4AD? I respect the record label but it’s the name droppers that I abhor. If you can’t describe the shit, don’t. I’m already about to vomit when people compare us to post punk 80s bands. I dare you to say it again. Say it again.

Frag 02- (remix) - Was able to cook up some tracks using some noises I recorded in a micro cassette. Micros are kind of cool for their lack of bass sound much like the sound of cell phone speakers my workmates play during break time. Sounds like a tin can. But not the micros. It still has a rich analog sound but the thing is, the bass isn’t registering. I treated it to a barrage of reverbs and choruses and I was able to create a sonic noise and re-recorded some parts to produce a different layer. It was supposed to be a sonic feedback laced sound but the house remix kind of gave it a thumping sound that balanced the ear ache that the micros produced. So kids, a micro cassette recorder is more lethal than your lame ass I-pod.

Krakow – is actually not sonically inspired but more based of what would have happened or to put it this way, what would you hear if you were the one operating the machines in the gas chamber. Lots of industrial noises, back masked tapes and a drone of an actual machine. First time listeners swore that they were able to hear prisoners being led to the chamber and subsequent screams even it was drowned by loud machinery.

R.I.T.H. (Rivets in the Head) – A hardcore industrial track music generated from machines operating. Background noises were recorded in a factory assembling tin cans for canned goods. Live noises were recorded simultaneously with the background using a generic delay pedal running through a Behringer 8 track mixer.

The music industry is dead. I